Maybe you have wondered ...

I have had several people ask me, family members of mine or Kent's some questions surrounding adoption or multi-cultural families that are hard to answer with one or two sentences, but are extremely important that they do NOT go unanswered. Some are hard to hear from anyone, especially from loved ones. Some are questions that many people have that are scared to ask. So, here it goes...

1. "Why are you adopting when you can have children 'of your own'?"
Let me first say, even our adopted child will be "our own", forever and always. Please don't say this to adoptive families, especially in front of children. They need to know they belong (all of them) and they ARE a part of their family, an important part. Oh, and please don't say to anyone, "But are they REALLY brother and sister?" Yes, they are really. :) (If you truly want to find out if someone is adopted, ask the parent directly and privately.)
We knew adoption just might be in our future even before our boys. We have both thought it was a beautiful thing... how God works in miraculous ways to bring families together... it is amazing. When I got pregnant, it was still an option for the future. If you haven't considered it, fertility problems or not, consider it and pray about it. God will teach you incredible things about His character and your relationship with Him.

2. "Why adopt internationally when there are so many children in our own country that need families?"
Point blank... because we, the Jones family, are called to it. As you probably know, we are passionate about the Great Commission and making His name famous... until all people groups hear. We are also made more aware the past few years of the orphan crisis around the world. God has revealed to us that we, as believers, are all called to care for the orphans, widows, and strangers of this world (all throughout His word). How are we to care for them? Well, one way is to adopt... and our family is called to this, but not all are. Other ways are through sponsorship of children, orphanages, going and serving, giving, etc... so many ways! Read more on an old post: "Why Ethiopia?"
For the record, we think domestic is also important, and we are not closed to domestic adoption either!
(Recommended reading - Fields of the Fatherless)

3. "What if it isn't exactly what you hoped and dreamed it to be, and it ends up being harder than you ever imagined?" So does this mean don't do it? From what I recall, God has asked many people to do things that aren't easy. I mean, REALLY hard and sometimes seemingly impossible. But I am not to live with a spirit of fear of the unknown!! We wouldn't do anything worth fighting for if we did! We know it WILL be hard. We expect it. It may be harder than we expect, or it may be easier. God knows and He will be our strength. He will be all we need. It just doesn't matter. Our child is waiting for us.
"The Lord Himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." - Deuteronomy 31:8
"You have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God, you may receive what was promised." - Hebrews 10:36

4. "Will you really be able to love an adopted child the same as your biological children?"
Ask this question to a mother or father who has had both for a long time and see what she/he says. First of all, every child is different. Discipline may be different for the second that it was for the first. But the unconditional love for your children runs deep, biological or adopted, and from what I hear it really doesn't matter. They will be MY children... ALL of them. God just brought them to me through a different route. God takes care of that... it is amazing and I am not worried about that in the slightest.

5. "How will you afford adoption? I have heard it is extremely expensive."
Yes, it is VERY expensive. It will cost us about $22,000. Yikes! But when God has called us to adopt, He makes a way. It has been incredible to see how He has already taken care of so much financially in this adoption. He is good... real good. What a neat thing to see Him work like this and KNOW without a doubt that we are doing what pleases Him and what He has planned for our family!! So exciting!

6. "Aren't you afraid the child will have something wrong with him/her?"
Again, we are not to live with a spirit of fear, but "When I am afraid, I will trust in You."
- Psalm 56:3. We are not guaranteed a healthy child, adopted OR biological. We just trust that whatever child He brings to us is perfect, and perfect for us, because He is sovereign. He knows best. He will sustain us and provide for us, whatever we need, no matter what. I also hold these verses close to my heart regarding ALL my children...

- "I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him (or her) to the Lord. For his (or her) whole life he (or she) will be given over to the Lord." - I Samuel 1:27-28

- "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."
- Psalm 139:13-14

I say all of these things praying I don't offend anyone, but hoping and praying to reveal my heart, why we are doing this, and possibly offer up a few things/answers to questions many may have but are afraid to ask. These are the things God has taught me, especially this past year. This doesn't mean that I don't struggle with doubt or fear on occasion, b/c I do. I just don't live in it or dwell on it. These are also things to pray about... that we will continue to trust God in all of these things and so much more.

FOREVER A FAMILY

We waited, and you waited.
We loved, and you wanted to be loved.
We prayed, and you longed to be heard.
God heard, and here you are.
Forever home, Forever a family.
-N.N.G. , August 2005